I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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