This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
