do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
