do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize