I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
