I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
