Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
