We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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