i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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