I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
