just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
