so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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