you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
