The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
FUCK WHALES
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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