like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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