How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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