I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
