If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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