it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
