Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
