Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
