drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
either way he was missing a nipple.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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