I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
im about as happy as oj after his trial
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize