I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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