you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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