Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
