So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize