I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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