Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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