He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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