I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
