he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We just shotgunned beers for America
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
