Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
A bitchslap is in order.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
