Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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