Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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