I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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