Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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