She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I love how my cats smell like pot.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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