So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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