Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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