Your dad touched me again.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
