How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
