fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
