I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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