dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize