You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Can I color on your dick again?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
