It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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