She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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