He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
