She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
