He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
