i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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