About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize