I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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