yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
