so explain again why im purple
no
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
