She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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