how do flat chested girls get laid?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
