I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
