Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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