i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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